Friday, November 28, 2008
You Want My Job?? Go For It!!!!
It's a funny thing when your clients are older than you are and sometimes they may not all take you that seriously! It never really occurred to me except for just recently. I'm no where near a baby, youngin', little girl etc... but, I haven't hit 30 yet either. Soooooo when one of my client's husbands decides to challenge my abilities, knowledge and experience, I'm like OK buddy, let's rock it out! You want to do my F-ing job?!?!?!
It's common with him even though he's only 6 yrs older than me and has only been riding (a DEAD-ASS broke 28 yr old Mare) for LESS than a year. Yet, he feels that horses should dominated upon and that they MUST do exactly what you ask them to!! OK ready for some examples?!?!?
NEVER push your luck!!! His wife's horse was being a bit of a stinker when it came to cantering so I had her on the lunge line and was getting her to canter fabulously, so I told "Macho Husband Man" go ahead and hop up there and just sit there. Don't use the reins, your legs nothing. I just need her to canter with you on her back. OK, so the mare does and we love her up for it! The next time I say "OK, go ahead and add a little bit of leg, so she begins to learn her canter cue." Ge does we're high-fiving, then we decide to push our luck. So, Macho man decides he wants her to canter OFF the lunge line. Well, we haven't quite gotten that far in our raining yet, and as I"m saying NO! He's already trotting around the arena doing the fastest trot I've ever sen. Smack, smack goes the crop... AHHHHHHHHH So then he say to me "you wanna try" and against my better judgement I say sure. Well I didn't really try very hard at ALL. I just kind of let her plug around the arena. Then I immediately got off and gave the mare many hugs, and treats! ALWAYS end where you want to and stick by THAT!! I was pissed at myself for days, for not yanking his ass off that horse when I SAID that she was done.
He always says to me "well come on YOUR the trainer. Miss Badass!" Yeah well let's keep in mind that I'm also a very ALIVE Miss Badass Trainer *snork* I like being alive!! But whatever. Anyway, so I'll tell him "Oh you think this is easy? Breaking a horse for the first time??? It takes patience and some strength to hang on if the poor thing goes a little loopy. I get kicked at, boxed at, bucked off, reared at, ya know...all the crap YOU'RE too much of a chicken 'S' to be around, hence why you pay me!!" Yet he always thinks he knows better and more. LMAO!!!!
Ooooh I have a neat-o little plan for him though!!! So friends of mine aquired this pony. We called her "little B." She was not a nice pony in anyway shape or form. So naturally I'm working her and it just so happens that my friend and her hubby are at my place watching. He keeps saying. "Oh come on it's just a pony! What are you waiting for?!?!" *ooooh headdesk!* OK, OK, it's time to put your money where your mouth is!! So I convince him to come out into the arena and assist me with this pony. All he has to do is just lean his weight over her back. That's it!!! Now keep in mind that I would never put him in a spot where he'd get hurt EVER, he's actually a totally fabulous guy when we're not discussing horses. Ahahahhaah. SO! He is attempting to scramble his way onto this 13.2 hh pony *snickers* and it occurs to me that I"m going to need his wife's help. Both of us "womenfolk" held onto to the pony while he got up there and the pony was NOT a happy camper!! She was squirming and prances and man oh man I have NEVER seen someone fly off a pony and run away that fast in all my life!!!! He decided there after that it was best to leave the breaking and actual TRAINING" of the horse up to me!! PHEW! That's the end of that!!!!!
NOT!! Trailering. He is very stubborn when it comes to how horses should trailer! *Um, Hello!! Remember you've been around horses less than a year!!* Well the barn that his wife boards at has people who only trailer their horses a certain way and that includes no matter WHAT the horse MUST back out of the trailer no matter what the circumstances!! Well, that really doesn't always fly with me and so when we went to go pick up a terrified horse, put it in the trailer, drive it home, he can't get the horse out!! Mwauahahahaaa. So it's like "Hey how do you get this horse out??" "Um... Turn him the hell around and walk him out!" Well even though there was MORE than enough room, he says no way, instead he'd rather keep trying to back the horse up and smack him on the chest! All the while the horse is scared out of his mind. Well this time I've had enough, I grab the horse, flip him around and WALK him out of the trailer as calm as can be! OOOH He was super agitated that I did that, but you know what? As a horse trainer you MUST know EXACTLY when, where, and what the circumstances are if you decide to pick a fight with a horse. And right then... it was not necessary to pick a fight with the old gelding.
By now me and his wife, my actual client, have become very close friends and we have just learned to brush off some of the things he says as absolute bullhonkey!!! I just keep reminding him that if he's so inclined, he can certainly take over for me! *grin* The really funny thing is I always get a "HELL NO!!! Are you CRAZY??" Lmao!!! Yeah you know, I just may be!!