Tuesday, November 25, 2008
My Horse is Going to Kill You...
I apparently own the "Intimidator." And he wants you dead, or at least for you to wish you were dead.
OK so my main show horse is a 16hh Arabian Sporthorse and he is the love of my horsey life, however his personality can be compared to that of a bully (or satan). He has impeccable ground manners and is even better under saddle, there isn't a show I can't go to where we don't clean up (for me of course). But he loves to fuck with people LOL!!!! He is a mind-fu*ker. He will do very random insane things that I brush off as him just being him, but to other people he is a spawn of Satan. He's just a Mama's boy, that's all. If someone else leads him out of the trailer he'll jump out of it like he's a Lipizzaner doing a Capriole, announcing to everyone that he's arrived. He walks out like a perfect gentle men for me though... ugh *damn me for spoiling him* He will whinny and scream if you dare to turn your back on him. He will strike and paw at the ground if he's irritated. He'll prance and dance in circles around if he thinks he can get away with it. He's your typically bully. He'll read you like a book and then use it to terrorize you. He smells your fear like a nice patch of fresh clovers. Who said horses were dumb?
So none of this ever occurred to me until my own boyfriend, his friends, and a lot of my clients and their spouses told me they couldn't believe I handled him, that he was crazy and would for surely murder me. Well to me he's just my baby, and you know like a TYPICAL CHILD, he never pulls his bullshit when Mom's around. Although I have seen it. Honestly with or without me around he will be a perfect gentleman IF you stand up to him. But try telling non-horsey people that. "Stand up to HIM?!?!?! You're crazy!!!" No, no, no it's just showing him you're the boss and that although he's adorable he needs to listen and behave. Once you gain his semi-respect (or tolerance at least) he'll be a nice sweet little boy with his cute brown eyes and sweet face looking at you oh so lovingly. Oh my God don't fall for it!!!! He's a user, he just wants your cookies!!!
Now I know we all have or have had that ONE (or two, or five, oh crap) horse that will do no wrong in the eyes of his mother. The horse that is without question positively angelic for us. *sigh* Oh and how we fawn over them. We'll give them everything we've got. They're like giant leeches sucking the life and money out of us. But we wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING!!
They show and perform for us perfectly (mostly) and do nothing but make us smile. And for that we may look the other way when their child/spoiled like behavior comes pouring out like a broken dam.
OMG!!! Now that I think about it he probably is freakin crazy, but I love him and am wrapped around his pretty gray hoof. His very spoiled hoof *wait a minute* the horse who loves to terrify the innocent and weak *holy shit*. Having him is like being a woman in an abusive relationship "But I love him and he loves me!!!!" Oh to hell with it, I think they're right. I think he is the Devil's Horse!!! *grin*