Monday, November 3, 2008

Let's Play a Game called "This is Why You're a Dumbass"

Oh you will love these!!! In this edition of "This is Why You're a Dumb ass" we are going to look at some of the biggest dumb asses of all. The "my kids must have a horse, so I'll get them one even though I don't know shit about them, nor do I care for my kid's safety!" *Snort*

Here we have Contestant #1 in the "This is why you're Parents are Dumb" Division

3 kids, only one with boots on. Where is the adult???

Contestant #2
For Fuck's Sake. I am NOT Commenting on this one except for "We may have a winner"

Contestant #3
Here we have 2 fabulous photos of her STANDING on a pony with NO supervision!!! *cough fucktards cough*
And here we just do NOT have any fucking shoes on. But it's ok, because ponies don't weigh anything, and their hooves aren't sharp enough to really hurt my kid that bad. IDIOTS!

Ugh, here we have #4 Flip Flops. Now this girl MAY have actually been sucked into this. Like "Hey get on this horse o we can take a picture of how dead broke it is!!" Response? " I only have flip flo-" cut off by parent "Oh it'll just take a second. Get on up there" EEEEK!!

*Where is my Advil* #5

The Parent is actually participating in this assfest!! All I can say is OUCH for that horse's back and kidney's. He looks like a real sweetie of a horse though. Lucky for them.

Here we have #6

*confetti falls* DING DING DING DING!!!!
What in the fucking hell is going through you're mind as a parent? I'll tell you what SHOULD be going through you're mind.
#1. Um helmets are only like $34.95 at the local feed store maybe I should go get one.
#2. LESSONS LESSONS LESSONS! Boy, I'm a cheap ass Fucker!!
#3. I better thank my lucky fucking stars that my pony is kind and gentle! Especially with my daughter jacking it in the flanks!!! Wait, I'm sorry on it's BACK!!
#4. My daughter is BRACING on that pony's neck to keep from biting the fucking dust!!!
Now why do I think that is???
Why?! Why would you do this and then use the photo to sell you're pony!?!?!?!?!?
Yes Contestant #6 is the Fucking winner!!


JamieC said...

I think people should have to have a license to have children. You know, to prepare them like you were prepared to drive a car. Have to take a training course, tests, & if you FAIL, you don't reproduce!

TheHorseGirl said...

Holy shikes!!!!! W.O.W. I don't even know how people ride without helmets, i feel vulnerable when i don't have one on... My old helmet got a fair sized crack in it, and I can only imagine what my head would've looked like if the helmet hadnt've been there...

The original bitch said...

I love watching these soon to be trainwrecks.....thanks for making my day! I also love to poke fun at the "clueless" although sadly I am in that bunch sometimes:)

Em said...

I hope one day one of these people fall, natural selection at work. As long as the horses aren't hurt.

horselovingirl28 said...

your language is terrible and offensive. sometimes is ok but every other word is a turn off on reading your blog.

GoLightly said...

I must agree, clean up your mouth.
You can demonstrate really bad riding, without using f-k every other word. Hope you don't teach your kids that way.
And, yes, that's REALLY bad riding, on that poor app.
There's someone who needs to learn "Heels Down..." And no jumping, until they have an independent seat and leg and hands. I lost students to my competing school barn, for insisting on that. I didn't CARE.

But no, we must JUMP because when we do, it makes us GOOD riders.
Oh, well, could be lots worse, the horses ain't starving...

icepony said...

I'm personally a big fan of contestant #3/4. Let's shoes? Check. No helmet? Check. In the first picture, it looks like we have baling twine for reins...COOL! And then let's loop them around the saddle horn while we're at it, 'cuz that's super-safe.

(sigh) such a pretty little girl. I hope her the injuries she's bound to receive are relatively minor.

Oh, and yes, I agree, the f-word is definitely in overuse here.

Trainer X said...

You're right, I just get a wee bit amped up when i'm writing these sometimes. Thanks :)

KC said...

I know I'm late to this party (and WHAT a party it is!!) but #6 is GOING to end up like that story of the poor girl found dead in the arena after she had been jumping a freakin' tree branch leaned up against the arena fence. Without a helmet.
I can't even count on my toes how many things are wrong in that picture...
Whoever is taking the photo should slap her and take that pony away!


CATALYST. said...

Sweet jesus. Somebody cancel this person's internet.

YOU'RE NOT FUNNY. This is a gay blog.

Trainer X said...

CATALYST~ Then what are you DOING HERE R-TARD?!?!?!?!

CATALYST. said...

This blog is all aboard the S.S. Failboat.