Tuesday, October 28, 2008
So as a trainer I get the privilege to work with some of the world's finest...fucking kids. Ugh, I like kids, but here's the thing about mixing kids and horses. You have 2 types. The first type is the kid who will do ANYTHING to be near a horse, do whatever you say and absorb knowledge like a sponge!! They are fearless and they're ready to gallop off into the sunset before they've ever even seen their first piece of tack. *sigh* Oh I love those kids. BUT the majority of them are these kids. Oh my god people!!!! I am NOT a babysitter!! Believe me after spending a mere 5 minutes with these lovelies I can see why mom and dad drop 'em and run away for an hour. Oh I shudder even thinking about it. They scream because they want to ride, and then once they get on they're frozen. Why are they frozen? Because they spent so much god damn time TALKING OVER EVERY FUCKING THING YOU WERE TRYING TO SAY!!!! "I love ponies, I want a pony, my mom sez, my dad sez" Oh heaven help me. Here's a prime example. So I am fortunate enough to have a student whose daughter suddenly wanted lessons. OK doesn't SEEM like a big deal right? Cute little toe-headed 8 yr old? FUCKING CHATTERBOX!!!!! Oh and when she's NOT chattering about something completely asinine, she's NOT paying a fuck's worth of attention to me. She's worried about the conversations I've having with her mom, or what the other kids are doing. She screams and cries when things don't go her way either. Oh you spoiled BITCH! So one day she's riding her mom's horse and lil miss hot-fucking-shot decides to go ahead and try trotting when we were simply working on STEERING for god's sake. So as I'm screaming "NO, STOP" in which feels like a slow-mo movie scene, her horse takes off into the trot, which then triggers a blood curdling scream from the blob on the back of poor horse. When you scream on the back of a horse by the way, IT SCARES THE FUCK OUT OF THEM!! So the poor horse trotted faster. Aye-yi, so when we finally got the mare stopped, the little girl could NOT stop screaming and crying for at least 20 minutes, she didn't even fall OFF!!! Oh and do you think she learned her lesson? Oh god no, she still talks over me and screams and cries ALL the time, but NOW she refuses to ANYTHING except walk in circles. What the fuck do you do with a student who doesn't want to do anything?!?!?!?!?! Ahhhhh Patience is a virtue my friends, and let me tell you, it's sure as hell isn't a virtue I have!!!!