Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Ouch...my head

So as a trainer I get the privilege to work with some of the world's finest...fucking kids. Ugh, I like kids, but here's the thing about mixing kids and horses. You have 2 types. The first type is the kid who will do ANYTHING to be near a horse, do whatever you say and absorb knowledge like a sponge!! They are fearless and they're ready to gallop off into the sunset before they've ever even seen their first piece of tack. *sigh* Oh I love those kids. BUT the majority of them are these kids. Oh my god people!!!! I am NOT a babysitter!! Believe me after spending a mere 5 minutes with these lovelies I can see why mom and dad drop 'em and run away for an hour. Oh I shudder even thinking about it. They scream because they want to ride, and then once they get on they're frozen. Why are they frozen? Because they spent so much god damn time TALKING OVER EVERY FUCKING THING YOU WERE TRYING TO SAY!!!! "I love ponies, I want a pony, my mom sez, my dad sez" Oh heaven help me. Here's a prime example. So I am fortunate enough to have a student whose daughter suddenly wanted lessons. OK doesn't SEEM like a big deal right? Cute little toe-headed 8 yr old? FUCKING CHATTERBOX!!!!! Oh and when she's NOT chattering about something completely asinine, she's NOT paying a fuck's worth of attention to me. She's worried about the conversations I've having with her mom, or what the other kids are doing. She screams and cries when things don't go her way either. Oh you spoiled BITCH! So one day she's riding her mom's horse and lil miss hot-fucking-shot decides to go ahead and try trotting when we were simply working on STEERING for god's sake. So as I'm screaming "NO, STOP" in which feels like a slow-mo movie scene, her horse takes off into the trot, which then triggers a blood curdling scream from the blob on the back of poor horse. When you scream on the back of a horse by the way, IT SCARES THE FUCK OUT OF THEM!! So the poor horse trotted faster. Aye-yi, so when we finally got the mare stopped, the little girl could NOT stop screaming and crying for at least 20 minutes, she didn't even fall OFF!!! Oh and do you think she learned her lesson? Oh god no, she still talks over me and screams and cries ALL the time, but NOW she refuses to ANYTHING except walk in circles. What the fuck do you do with a student who doesn't want to do anything?!?!?!?!?! Ahhhhh Patience is a virtue my friends, and let me tell you, it's sure as hell isn't a virtue I have!!!!

12 comments:

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

Let them walk in circles. Collect money. Honestly, they get bored after a while no matter how scared they may be. If they started whining, I'd distract them by telling some story.

Now, out of control in the barn is different. I will get very tough on...I have run into parents who think it is OK to drop off EXTRA kids with the lesson kid, as though the barn is the play area at McDonalds. Um, no.

Trainer X said...

LMAO I know right? Thank YOU!!!

Rachel said...

LMAO. This is hilarious. I think I know a couple of these girls at my own barn.

My favorite thing? When they're talking when the trainer is explaining the jump course and they're talking to their friend. Then the two expect everyone else to tell them what the course was.

Crunchberry's mom said...

i hate kids. seriously. but it seems to me that if you make your living teaching kids to ride, you shouldn't say things like this about them where they (or their parents)could possibly see it.

i'm just sayin'....

Mack Truck said...

Y'know, I hate The Public.

Not people individually necessarily, but The Public.

They're moronic, idiotic, and think you owe them something for nothing.

This is why I no longer work in the service industry. Maybe you should consider a career change too, since it's obvious you hate The Public just as much as I do.

I suggest either anthropology or accounting. Both of those give you limited contact with The Public. I'm an accountant.

No way would I pay someone for a service who has a nasty, condescending attitude.

I spend a LOT of money on my horses, and both their and my training.

The day my trainer doesn't treat me with the respect I show her, is the day I take my money to someone else.

Just something you might want to consider, since the horse world is small, and the interwebz ain't private.

plastiqueponi said...

You'd have loved me as a kid then. :-)

My first ride was at about 3, being led around at Dad's company picnic. Horse slipped the bridle, and took off for the barn, with me hanging on for dear life. We were caught by a groom, who told dad when he caught up to us "She was laughing and wanting to do it again!". Said I wasn't scared at all.

Trainer X said...

Hells yeah Plastique! I do not HATE kids, I just hate their attitudes at times... You sound exactly like me when I was a kiddo:):):):):) I am actually very fond of people and LOVE to teach, although I am a MUCH better HORSE TRAINER than teacher sometimes.. :P

barngal said...

I had a 9 year old student, one of the more interested "wanting to learn" type. She had her own horse that was the perfect first horse. Her mom was the problem though. I couldn't keep her away to keep her mouth shut. I was so glad to be rid of her. Problem was though that the kid really had some ability. I have seen her recently and she hasn't progressed the way I thought she should and the mom is now the expert. I wonder how the other instructors feel!

Trainer X said...

BarnGal--Yeah and it's not that we are truly "hating kids" or their parents for that matter LOL it's just sometimes, we'd love to tell them to shut up LMAO Actually 99% of my students are FABULOUS and range from 6-55, but you win some you lose some eh???

Jill said...

What really scares me is unsupervised kids who create a dangerous situation for themselves and everyone else at the barn. Dear AWOL parents, if you can afford a horse you can afford a babysitter! The barn is not a daycare and not a playground.

CATALYST. said...

ALL ABOARD THE FAILBOAT.

Dark Elf Warrior said...

Ooh we have one of these at our yard, all of 10 years old. The other day she screamed at her (very expensive, brilliantly schooled) pony: "You stupid f*cking animal! I hate you! You only think about yourself!"

So of course we thought it was hilarious, but on a serious note, someone like that does not deserve to even look at pictures of horses. >:(