So a close friend of mine (a Male) has an on again off again relationship, with a girl who works at his barn. They are both younger, around 20 or so, and they have the type of relationship that is very typical for that time on your life. They are infatuated with each other, but fight ALL the time, which wouldn't be a huge deal EXCEPT that he works and trains horses and deals with clients all day long. Again, it shouldn't be a problem, but here we go... She gets jealous if any other clients are women, doesn't matter how old or young they are. She always wants to go out and party and not work and not let him work or give lessons, she makes snarky comments to the women clients, you can hear her in the background, if you're on the phone with him, yelling about "Get off the phone! Who is that? What's SHE want?"
So a friend of mine who is a client of his, had to have a come to Jesus meeting with him. His GF's meddling in his training was becoming quite distracting to the client, the girl tried to put my friend on a horse that hadn't been ridden in 2 months to see if she could scare her... He was basically getting drug down by her and it was showing to everyone, especially his clients.... She FLIPPED out at the show we were at, because he was helping his students and not paying her any attention. She also hangs all over him when he is in the middle of a conversation with someone other than her. So when is it enough? When you can't even concentrate on your clients???
Trust me, it is HARD to find a balance in training and relationships. Horses take up a good part of your life even when you're not a trainer!!! But when someone actually starts to jeopardize your career because of immaturity, there has to be a line to draw somewhere right??? Ahhh for those of you who think there is no drama or excitement in horses, it is nothing BUT Drama LOL!!! Our advice to him was to figure out what was important to him. Money making clients? Or a GF (sort of) who makes his life difficult. If he wants both, great, but keep her far far AWAY! Not a good idea to mix business with pleasure... Not at all... *Head shaking* Ahhh Venting is good...
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I have seen this issue a lot.. esp with male trainers..Their wives/girlfriends can get jelous of all the attention they give to "other women.". The problem is that a lot of the client interraction time is during the evenings and weekends... time that a girlfriend or wife of a "normal" guy would expect to have the man's attention. The client is paying the trainer to teach them.. give them their time and attention. Most people are doing horses as a hobby and therefor it should be a "fun" experience..and that means that the trainer will be nice to you.. seem like he enjoys having you there.. making it positive to be there.
My husband runs a cruise boat and as a result can get a little extra female attention."ooh can I drive the boat?" lol. I expect him to be nice to them, answer their questions etc.. If I am on the cruise.. I will actually leave the pilot house so that the customer's are getting the attention of the captain to themselves. But then again, my guy is 100 and 10% great and wouldn't ever do anything "wrong".
I have seen the flip side from female trainers where the husband is frustrated because they don't have the typical dinner on the table because the wife is teaching a lesson. I actually left a trainer one time because she got too wrapped up in her child.. I paid big money for a futurity entry plus training and hauling etc.. only to arrive to the showgrounds late.. got no warmup time and had to go into the class cold because the child was taking all their time.
I just see the words "20 or so" and "Trainer" combined and groan. Go to school and learn about business. Maybe they offer credit-earning classes on not letting your personal life enter your business life.
"Maybe they offer credit-earning classes on not letting your personal life enter your business life."
yeah, what she said.
Honestly.
"Let the soaps churn", gets REALLY old at the barn.
RUN!!! If the trainer is not mature enough to be able to keep their personal life separate from the barn (only if it is negatively impacting their clients), then they are not mature enough to do the training properly. That applies to all businesses - not just horse training.
If I am paying $$, I want their complete, undivided attention and not have some insecure bimbo coming around to distract them or make trouble. If my trainer (she's the best!!) did that, I would dump her in a heartbeat. I work too hard for my money to have it wasted in barn drama.
http://thesecretlifeoflurch.blogspot.com/
There has to be a happy medium, and he has to insist on it.
She may just need some acknowledgement from him like a "Hello Honey", a wink or whatever. Then back to business.
She is obviously insecure, jealous and immature.
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